And we’re Back!

But where’d we go? And why? What started as an unintentional break from blogging turned into a conscious decision that I didn’t want to and wasn’t going do it anymore. At first it was the busyness and the chaos of having young babies that made blogging feel too overwhelming to keep up with. I’ve always enjoyed writing but creative writing or really, any creative work requires the ability to ride the waves of inspiration when they hit. It’s hard to schedule when you’re going to have your next creative burst. And if that wave hits when you happen to have a baby on the boob while changing another baby’s diaper as you’re promising another you didn’t forget their snack all before you get ready to play Uber driver to a teenager, it’s going to be a tough wave to ride. Before I knew it, a similar series of events had occurred over and over and over because such is life as a stay-at-home mom of four. Once I realized that more time had gone by than I wanted without attention to this outlet of mine, I would sometimes try again, resolved more than the last time to stick to it, no matter what. But it wouldn’t be long before the pattern of lapsing repeated until one time I decided that was it.

It didn’t feel like it was just about finding the time anymore. I stopped feeling like I had anything to say. What am I blogging about? What feels worth sharing? I no longer felt aligned with what I started. So without saying a word, I shutdown my website. I was done, that was it. I would occasionally post on social media but my blogging days were done. So how are we back here, on the blog that I said I wasn’t writing anymore?

Surprisingly, I had a few friends ask about my blog. One mentioned that they had recommended it to someone and so I said “yea, I’m not really doing that anymore.” Another asked what was next for me and my blog and I was like “there’s isn’t a blog anymore.” The way they both responded is what really triggered some reflection. They both were shocked and said “why not?” For some reason, the response I was expecting was “oh okay, that’s cool” or something much more neutral. Being caught off guard by the response, I feel like I kinda stuttered through my response and shared that I just didn’t want to do it anymore - I just wasn’t feeling it. This led me to dig a little deeper with myself and try to find out what it was that I “wasn’t feeling.” Something that I try to practice when it comes to defining purpose is focusing on why. I thought back to why I started the blog in the first place. I felt like my motherhood journey was unique but I knew that I wasn’t the only experiencing what I was experiencing. I knew there were other moms that were curious about some of the things that I was curious about. I knew how isolating it felt and how difficult it seemed to find those people. So I started my blog to create community, for myself. A community of moms that share similar interests, parenting values and techniques but that are also different enough to learn from each other. I decided that I could establish a community, for myself, simply by sharing my experiences and what I’m learning and unlearning and trying and all the things. I’m not an advice giver. I’m not an influencer. I am a mom that just wanted to share bits and pieces of a lifestyle that I hadn’t seen represented enough but that I knew was out there. And while community obviously encompasses and benefits a group, the desire to build the community was always for me. It was my way of soothing my soul. It was how I decided I could contribute to community in a practical way, something that is incredibly important to me.

But the key to this being sustainable has always been to be authentic and keep it simple. I realized that me not feeling aligned with it anymore was really just me overthinking it. There’s no content to create - I live the content everyday. I don’t need to find the time because how I’m spending my time is what I’m sharing. I don’t need to think of something worth talking about because my aim is to talk about what’s happening in my world. When I remembered that this was for me, first and foremost, it hit a little different to think about walking away. It shifted my perspective and I wasn’t willing to abandon something that was such a significant extension of me. Some of you have been here from the beginning and have been so incredibly supportive and motivating. When I say that every single like, comment, share, “I needed to see that - thanks for sharing”, “I felt that”, and “ooo girl, what’s in that smoothie” interaction fills me up, I’m not exaggerating. It’s what it represents - my community - that means so very much to me. And I love that some of you are finding ways that you can relate to me and my experiences. But that is a bonus. I needed to remember that this space here on the internet, is for me even more than it is for you. It is large part of my purpose and I’m never going to give up on that.

So - Maternally Speaking is back live! But things will be a little different. When I started this site five years ago, it was intended to be a Mommy blog discussing ‘all things motherly’, as my tagline indicates. I guess technically speaking, it still sort of will be a mommy blog. But my new focus is on sharing a more well-rounded view of me and my life. I know the social media experts say you aren’t supposed to allow motherhood to become your identity but for me, every single way that I have evolved and grown and changed for the better is because of being a mom. It is the most important work I have ever or will ever do. I’m very dedicated to it. I take it very seriously. I am very good at it. I plan to share the many other fascinating, significant layers to me as a person, but it all comes back to being a mom. Motherhood is the root of every other beautiful thing in my life. Which is why I decided not to change the name of the blog. I considered it briefly because I wanted the name to truly capture the essence of my content. But I realized it already does and always has. I am a mother. That means a lot of different things and it influences everything in my life. And I am excited to share those things with you here on Maternally Speaking - All Things Motherly.

Welcome back, to us!